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This isn’t going to be possible because I’m cooking something else tonight (you’ll see it here soon), but this looks a hell of a lot more delicious than anything I’m making.

Hot Beef Sundae

Mashed potatoes, hot beef stew, cheese and a cherry tomato on top. Oh good god.

Just a note, this site will not be updated soon. All future updates will be located at http://www.epicportions.com, which is the new home of this blog. I haven’t really set a date where posts will stop here, but it will be soon.

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Well, I haven’t put anything that I want to eat up here in a while so I thought today would be a good day to resume this.

Today is simple.  All I want is….

A gigantic burrito.


I think the plan for today to actually fulfill this craving is to either make one of these bad boys at home, or stop at Qdoba for lunch.

I got to thinking later on, why is Qdoba so delicious?  Why do I frequent Qdoba rather than Chipolte?  I think I can sum it up in three words.  Chicken Queso Burrito.  The queso sauce at Qdoba is incredible.  I can’t understand why they haven’t even attempted to create a queso sauce at Chipolte.

If you ever feel like making the stuff at home, here’s how.  You can definitely decide not to roast the peppers and use canned tomatoes, but the stuff tastes a whole hell of a lot better if you do.

Qdoba’s Queso Dip:

Ingredients:

  • 2 medium (about 6 ounces total) fresh poblano chiles
  • 6 ounces (1 medium round or 2 plum) ripe tomatoes
  • 2 garlic cloves, unpeeled
  • 3 tablespoons chopped flatleaf parsley
  • Salt to taste
  • 2 tablespoons finely crumbled of each cheese, Monterrey Jack, American and cheddar cheese

Preheat the broiler. Place the poblanos, tomatoes and garlic on a baking sheet. Set the sheet 4 inches below a very hot broiler. Roast, turning every couple of minutes, until the chiles and tomatoes are soft, blistered and blackened in spots and the garlic is soft, 12 to 13 minutes total.

Place the chiles in a bowl, cover them with a towel, and let them stand 5 minutes, then wipe off the blackened skin. Pull or cut out the stems, seed pods and seeds; rinse quickly to remove any stray seeds and bits of char.

When the tomatoes are cool, peel off and discard their skins.

Slip the papery skins off the garlic.

In a food processor, make a puree of the roasted garlic and poblanos.   Place the puree in a large bowl.

Chop the roasted tomatoes (for this recipe it’s best not to use any of the juice from the baking sheet) and add to the poblano mixture along with the parsley.

Coarsely mash everything together. Taste and season with salt, usually a scant teaspoon.
Cover the mixture with plastic wrap, placing it directly on the surface, and refrigerate until you’re ready to eat.

In spirit of my decision to undertake competitive eating, I figured the best place to start is none other than…

Golden Corral.

What, specifically, do I want to eat at Golden Corral?  And why do I want to eat there?

Well, everything and because there’s nice people there, that’s why.

After a long absence, I am back!  I was reminded again that I hate moving and never want to do it again.  It got so bad that I threw out my deep fryer because I didn’t want to dispose of the oil.  Oh well.  Here’s what I want to eat today…

Deviled Eggs.

I was at my buddy’s going away party this past weekend and someone was kind enough to make two giant platters of these.  I ended up having 11 of them.  Here’s how I make my deviled eggs.

Ingredients:

  • 6 hard-boiled eggs
  • 2 Tbsp minced sweet onion
  • 2 tsp sweet pickle relish, minced
  • 1 Tbsp mayonnaise
  • 2 tsp creamed horseradish sauce (found in deli section)
  • 2 tsp yellow mustard
  • Salt to taste
  • I always add some paprika on top but you can make your eggs fancy by adding olives, chives, parsley, or pimento.

Directions:

Slice the hardboiled eggs in half and remove the yolks.  Put the yolks into a bowl and mash until crumbly.  Add the sweet onion, pickle relish, mayo, horseradish sauce, mustard, and salt to taste.  Mix until everything is combined and creamy.

You can pipe or use a spoon to return the yolk mixture into the egg white halves.  Garnish with what I listed above and serve.

Summer is almost here, and I am excited to get the grill out.  One of my favorite things to grill are Brats that have been sitting in a beer marinade for a few hours.  Also, the greatest summer side dish has to be potato salad.   Here is how I do brats and potato salad:

If you’re just buying grocery store Brats, stick with Johnsonville.  I always buy the spicy version, but the original works just fine.  You want to open them up and poke several holes in each brat with a fork.  This is going to allow the marinade to get through the casing.  Put the brats in the brats in a large bowl, and add the following ingredients(this is assuming you are making one package of brats):

  • 2 bottles of dark beer
  • 1 half onion, roughly chopped
  • 4 cloves garlic
  • A palm full of brown sugar
  • Red pepper flakes (add as much as you like)
  • A dash of Tabasco
  • This is optional, but I always add a bit of Sriracha chili sauce.  If you use a lot it gives brats more of an Asian flavor, which is odd to some people, but if you get the perfect amount in it creates a delicious flavor.  I would add about a tablespoon, if i had to guess.

Let the brats sit in the marinade for about 2 hours, then throw on the grill.  Trust me on this.  These are amazing.

As for the potato salad, I like the mustard variety without a lot of crunch from peppers and other ingredients.  I like the potatoes and the sauce to create the flavor.

Here’s what you’ll need:

  • 5 pounds potatoes, cooked
  • 3 or 4 hard-boiled eggs
  • 1/4 cup onion, minced
  • 1 small jar pimento
  • 3/4 cup sweet pickle relish
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • 1 tsp. celery seed
  • Paprika
  • Mayonnaise
  • Yellow mustard

Cook the potatoes in a large pot with enough water to cover while boiling.  Don’t overcook them or they will fall apart.  Place potatoes into a strainer.  Peel and dice the them while they are still warm!

Add chopped eggs, and onions.   Add pimento pickle relish, and celery seed.  Add mayonnaise and yellow mustard to taste (approximately ½ cup mayonnaise and ¼ cup mustard). If potatoes are too watery at this point add less mayonnaise.  Add salt and pepper to taste.

I usually do the taste test and add more of any of the ingredients if I feel the salad is lacking something

Place in serving bowl and sprinkle top with paprika. I always boil a few eggs, chop them up and place on top.

Cover and place in refrigerator until cold. Do not cover with aluminum foil; use plastic or glass instead. Foil will discolor eggs and possibly interact with mayonnaise.

There you have it, perfect potato salad.

Huevos Rancheros.

If you are unfamiliar with huevos rancheros, you are seriously missing out.  Huevos rancheros is a traditional Mexican dish that is usually eaten as breakfast, but can be eaten for any meal.  The basic components of the dish consists of a tortillas, fried eggs, with a tomato-chili sauce on top.  The great thing about this dish is you can add pretty much anything you like.  Here’s my version:

  1. Cook up some chorizo or regular breakfast sausage.  Chorizo is a smokier sausage that typically has red pepper added to it.
  2. Coat the bottom of a large pan LIGHTLY with oil.  Drop a tortilla in flat and let it sit until slightly crisp.  I’m talking SLIGHTLY browned.
  3. Fry two eggs.  I usually cook them over easy, but it’s up to you.
  4. Put tortilla on a plate, add chorizo on top of tortilla, and eggs on top of the chorizo.
  5. Add as much tomato-chili sauce as you want.  Canned enchilada sauce works great for this.
  6. Sprinkle cheese on top of that.
  7. I always put the dish in my toaster oven for a minute or so just to melt the cheese on top.

There you have it.  You can serve this with beans and rice, or just eat it by itself.

Nachos.

Here’s how I do my nachos.

I like to use about 1-2lbs of ground chicken.  Why?  I think I can flavor ground chicken a lot better than ground beef, like that taste better, and I hear it’s good for you as well.  I’m not down with the whole ground turkey thing because I just can’t eat turkey on anything but a sandwich or for a holiday that involves pilgrims.

Ingredients

  • 1-2lbs of ground chicken, depending on if you want regular or monster nachos.
  • 1 tbsp. chili powder
  • 2 tsp. cumin
  • Salt/Pepper
  • 2 tsp. cayenne pepper — Add more if you like the heat
  • 2 tsp garlic powder
  • 1/2 half onion
  • 1 can Rotel or 1 large diced tomato
  • 1 small can re-fried beans
  • 10-12oz bag tortilla chips
  • Monterey Jack cheese — As much as you like
  • Sour cream

I like the onions and tomatoes cooked with the chicken but feel free to just add them on top.  Season the chicken and cook until done.   Add it on top of your tortilla chips, followed by the rest of the ingredients.  I like to throw it in the toaster or conventional oven to melt the cheese before serving.

It’s an all day kind of thing today.  I’m pretty damn hungry.

Breakfast – 4 over easy eggs with biscuits and gravy

Lunch – Stromboli

Dinner – Lasagna.


This will be a daily feature, and it’s exactly how it sounds.  Everyday I will post what I want to eat.  Enjoy!

Today…

The Gluttoneer

A half pound prime rib/sirloin/rib eye patty, American cheese, onions, maple bacon, hot link sausage, ketchup and honey mustard.